Cutie Petutie

Just in case I don't have time to send many updates while I am in Canada -- Here is the latest picture of the cuteness that is William Michael. Check out my Picasa site for more pictures.

Day 15, Space for God?

Tomorrow I leave for my annual trek to the Bowlings' in Edmonton, Canada for skiing, playing with 18-mo. old boys, game playing, relaxing with friends, and general frolicking in the snow. I can't wait! (It'll be my first vacation on which I am not simply trying to catch up on sleep.)

This week I have been mostly cleaning out the cobwebs in my house and closets, getting some craft projects done (be forewarned...your Christmas gift is under construction...) Renovating an old white elephant gift, making magnetic paper dolls for Marie and Maya (shh, don't tell them), making cork boards from actual corks, and painting a spring decoration. These were the easy ones...the rest are a bit more complicated...which is probably why they have been sitting in my closet!

My other project was to make "space for God". My little corner for prayer is less cluttered and I bought a new small table for my coffee cup (gotta keep first things first!). As I was working on this space, I was reading in a book that "we...create a space to be aware of our relationship with God, so that we can be reminded that God makes a space for us and that we live continuously in God's gracious presence."

I am profoundly moved that God has made space for me. I wonder if He has a little "Chloe" corner at His place where He goes to commune with me...I wonder how that would be decorated? rubber ducks, probably. Maybe a hot pink racing bike? black and whites of Bono, perhaps. :) ha ha. A bit silly, but only a bit.

Day 8, Every Day is Saturday

I woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday. The day for sleeping in, baby snuggling, pancakes, and random home projects. I'm sure the grey and rainy weather had something to do with staying tucked into my warm blankets for long past the alarm clock as well. It took me a while to remember that it is Monday.

But I've realized that on sabbatical...every day is Saturday. Of course, I got a bit caught up in tying loose ends for work and volunteering for church this week...and soon I should consider doing some research and writing. But, for the time being I can relax and enjoy a day without a schedule or to do list.

One of my goals is to not have to do lists. I can't escape that entirely, since lists are like my "pensieve" (like in Harry Potter how Professor Dumbledore takes thoughts out of his mind so that he can mull them over more objectively and doesn't have to hold all his thoughts in his brain?).

That's what my journal is for as well. The more I sleep and relax, the more I realize how tired I am on the inside and how difficult it is for me to relax. Hopefully by the end of this I will be known as "relaxy" Chloe. (sorry, watching tooooo much Buffy the Vampire Slayer!)

Day 4: Quotables

Funny how some images keep popping up in a variety of places. The idea of "death and blossoming" and "home" continue to pop up. Here are a couple of fortuitous quotes:

"Take the very hardest thing in your life--
the place of difficulty,
outward or inward,
and expect God to triumph
gloriously in that very spot.
Just there He can bring your
soul into blossom."
-- Lillias Trotter (sent by a friend)

"The world doesn't need more busy people, maybe not even more intelligent people. It needs "deep people" people who know that they need solitude if they are going to find out who they are...The world needs people who will allow time for God to recreate them, play with them, touch them as an Artist who is making something beautiful with their lives."
-- Don Postema, Space for God

Day 3, The Rubber Meets the Road

If you can't tell from the picture, I have an unpredictable "green" (?) thumb. On the left is my "no kill" ivy that had a nearly instantaneous death upon my return from Urbana 2006, and on the right is a plant that nearly died before Christmas and is now blooming for the first time in years. Sigh.

I met with my spiritual director yesterday, and I'm realizing that this picture is a metaphor for my spiritual life. There are things in my life that I have expected to flourish...and don't, and other things that spring up from nearly dead places inside of me.

I'm becoming more aware of the areas of my life that I need to die to, and some that need to come to life. Praying about these things is not something I am looking forward to, in particular. I think that is because I so often focus on the death part. I know what pain and death feel like. But it takes trust in a good God to believe that something might blossom out of my life. This trust has not been a constant in my life.

I'm not sure yet that I want to say "yes" to this internal adventure, but I'm glad I've got some time to get used to the idea, and friends to pray me through.

Day 2, Not Much Sabbathing Happening Yet!

Who could get much rest or concentrated prayer done when there is this cuteness to contend with? This is William Michael, adopted baby #3 for the VanHaitsma clan. He came home yesterday after a long day of waiting for the "word" from the birth-mother.

At the hospital, Marie rushed in to tell me that in the baby's room there was a "lot of crying going on!". Birth-mom was crying, mom was crying, caseworkers crying...but God was overseeing that sorrow and joy.

As we were leaving the hospital, mom learned the difference between changing the girls' diapers and William's...the glasses were sprayed, the caseworker, the waiting room couch, floor, passers-by...ha ha ha.

Little Squirt, way to make your presence known!

Day 1, The Sabbatical Begins

I have a dusty prayer corner in my bedroom filled with things that help me to focus on God...when used, of course. A picture of the Mother Mary, candles, a bible, books on prayer, and works of art that are meaningful to me. Its a little space carved out just for me and God.

Space. This the word that keeps coming to me as I enter into my sabbatical. I need some space. From work that I love and habits that have formed, both good and bad. Space for thinking, sleeping, praying...space for God to come.

Ironic then, how the first book I pull off of my shelf today is called Space for God. I think I'll take some time now (since I've finally figured out how to post a blog!) to dust off my prayer corner, and give God some space in my heart and head.