If you can't tell from the picture, I have an unpredictable "green" (?) thumb. On the left is my "no kill" ivy that had a nearly instantaneous death upon my return from Urbana 2006, and on the right is a plant that nearly died before Christmas and is now blooming for the first time in years. Sigh.
I met with my spiritual director yesterday, and I'm realizing that this picture is a metaphor for my spiritual life. There are things in my life that I have expected to flourish...and don't, and other things that spring up from nearly dead places inside of me.
I'm becoming more aware of the areas of my life that I need to die to, and some that need to come to life. Praying about these things is not something I am looking forward to, in particular. I think that is because I so often focus on the death part. I know what pain and death feel like. But it takes trust in a good God to believe that something might blossom out of my life. This trust has not been a constant in my life.
I'm not sure yet that I want to say "yes" to this internal adventure, but I'm glad I've got some time to get used to the idea, and friends to pray me through.
1 comment:
Why is it that pain and death become more and more expected, while life and renewal seem impossible? It might be a bit dangerous for me to pray flower prayers for you :) but I will! Here is the first... a quote from my current read, Lilias Trotter.
"Take the very hardest thing in your life--
the place of difficulty,
outward or inward,
and expect God to triumph
gloriously in that very spot.
Just there He can bring your
soul into blossom."
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