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Pittsburgh, PA, United States

Saturday, September 22, 2007

A Three-Month Retrospective



I hope that many of you did not turn blue while holding your breath for my final blog. Many things have happened since my trip to Egypt, which have prevented me from doing so -- my apologies. Maybe soon I will open a new and non-sabbatical related blog for the masses. If you have ideas for a theme, let me know! Maybe something like, 100 ways to make chocolate chip cookies...or Rubber Ducks for dummies...?

It is nearly 3 months now since Monica and I got on the world's largest plane (or so it seemed) for the world's longest flight (or so it felt) through NY and Paris before arriving in Cairo. The first thing I noticed was how alive the city seemed -- we arrived late in the evening, but one would think it was rush hour -- people, animals, taxis...everywhere. And the driving! I loved it -- driving in Egypt seems to be more about avoiding others than anything else. With a few beeps here and few beeps there -- and excellent directional hearing -- everyone gets where they are going despite the lack of lane markers and traffic laws.

That first night we managed to weave our way over to Manshiet Nassar, the neighborhood of Mokattam, Cairo where we were staying and ministering. As we turned off the main freeway, there was a distinctly different atmosphere. The lanes were narrow, the smells more intense, and lots of fires. (Apparently after all the garbage sorting is done during the day, the villagers burn the garbage they cannot re-use or sell.) Again, there were people everywhere, and donkeys, and sheep, (and rats) and trucks. We passed by homes where garbage was still being sorted, but most people were out and about town enjoying a fresh pastry, drink, or a hookah. It took us a while to wind our way up the mountain to St. Simon's monastery, but we made it. Here is one of the streets during the day -- MUCH less crowded.



In an effort to keep this entry shorter than a novel, let me describe the ministries we worked with as well as the monastery where we stayed. This is a famous carving that greets tens of thousands of visitors a year to St. Simon's:



It all began here, or as I understand it, it all began with InterVarsity in Canada and a woman who fell in love with a handsome Egyptian student. As Rebekkah Atallah began to pursue her heart for the poor in Egypt, she raised money to provide a space for kids to "be kids". During the clearing of the top of the mountain for a soccer field, an accident occurred and a digger broke through rock and exposed a system of caves in the mountain. Some interest was made known by the Coptic church which ended up developing a monastery and a system of cave churches which are extremely popular for tourists. There are many great things occuring at this monastery and in their mission to serve the neighborhood* of Manshiet Nassar -- some of the world's poorest of the poor, living in Cairo's garbage. Here is one of the cave churches: (*neighborhood meaning ~1 million people)



We had really decent housing, with running water, toilets and beds. This was more than I was expecting and so these things felt like real luxuries. Plus, we had a balcony with a great view:





When we awoke our first morning, we were surprised to be greeted by a breakfast of potato chips and Heinz (of Pittsburgh fame) ketchup among other things. I had thought that I was supposed to LOSE weight becase of the heat, but I gained it because of the good food and potato chips!

The rest of the week, Monica and I visited in and participated in the life of the village and the surrounding ministries. The garbage villagers makes their living by taking a donkey cart or truck into the main city every day to pick up Cairenes' garbage. They bring them back in enormous canvas bags stacked high and usually a whole group of kids is riding precariously on the top of the bags. When it arrives at their home, it dumped out to be sorted. Food scraps go to the herds of animals kept in the streets; paper, plastics, and fabrics go to specific recycling homes; and the rest is burned. It seems that every household has a specialty: white paper, blue plastic, red fabrics and so everything has a place to go. After the sorting is done, each household does its recycling prep using machinery that was purchased with help of the monastery and other NGOs. Once the plastic is chipped, it is rebagged in the enormous canvas bags and sold to a middle man recycling center. To give you an idea of how specific the recycling is, the Boys' Recycling Center has a contract with Pert and Head & Shoulders -- that's it. They recycle every bottle of those two shampoos used in Cairo, period. But, much sorting has to be done before they find those "treasures". I think I still have gunk under my fingernails from peeling off labels of the bottles! Here is the Boys' Recycling Center:



The village has, as you can tell, attracted attention from the media which has attracted TO the neighborhood several NGOs and government services. The groups that we partner with during the Global Urban Trek (http://www.urbana.org/feat.trek.2007.cfm?recordid=1259) are the Boys' Recycling Center, Missionaries of Charity, the Association for the Protection of the Environment, the local Mokattam hospital, and the St. Simon's Handicapped Ministry. There are other ministries involved in the neighborhood, not the least of which is the St. Simon's ministries. We did a week-long "children's outreach", which in America might mean a modest event with parental supervision. No. It was not anything like this. We were in one of the cave churches that fit between 2,000 and 4,000 children per night. It was packed and noisy. The number of parents accompanying children? 0. I learned three words for the sake of the Lord that night: "Sit down", "Be quiet", and "Stop that". These Arabic words I will never forget!

The Boys' Recycling Center works with about 30 boys from the village teaching them the trade of the village so that they can work in the family business when they are old enough. But they also receive a traditional education with the help of volunteer teachers. One day a week they recycle (Pert and Head & Shoulders bottles) and the rest of the days they study. We were the welcome recipients of many displays of joyous dancing and joke telling in the outdoor venue as well. :) In Cairo, if a child doesn't go to school from the beginning, they are never allowed to go. This is difficult when one's family depends on a minute amount of income -- often every person is needed for the work. And, if a school child is from Mokattam, they are often beaten and discriminated against, making it difficult to stay in school. Alternative systems of education become more necessary to help these children to learn.

The Association for the Protection of the Environment works with women in the village and teaches them how to recycle paper and fabrics. From the recycled materials they make beautiful quilts, needlework, rugs, bags, Christmas decorations, statinery, pictures, wall hangings, etc. It is beautiful handiwork that is for sale in some 10,000 Villages stores in America.

The Handicapped Ministry is really an all encompassing visitation ministry for anyone who is sick, handicapped, elderly, lonely, etc. I was able to visit homes and see things that I had hoped never to see. Some of the elderly had families and nice apartments, while others lived in their own garbage -- flies, rats, and the whole bit. Others lived only feet away from their herd of pigs and their mess. What grieved me was those who seemed so alone -- those too old to walk the four flights downstairs to where there were others to talk to, too poor to own more than one room open to the elements, and still they care for others such as grandchildren. And yet, even when they are sad about their state in life, they are joyful about their life with Christ. I have a lot to learn from them.

And last but not least, there is the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresas organization) who serve the physically handicapped, elderly, and poor. Babies whose parents cannot afford good nutrition or take care of their child, are left at the "orphanage" for two years to give them a healthy start. Children with cerebral palsy are unwanted by society and are either left at the door or are sometimes found in the garbage. This complex also has a ward for the elderly who appeared to be widows without families, which would be consistent with Mother Teresa's desire to love the unloved and so to create something "beautiful for God". Here is me feeding Marin, one of the newborns:



I really enjoyed the ministries, but mostly I love the people. There was so much joy, hospitality, willingness to be silly and joke around, and an openness to real partnership. One person we spent quite a bit of time with was Christina. She is from Mokattam, 18 and going to college right about now to become an accountant like her uncle. (In Egypt, colleges are free). Her family owns one of the many 10 x 10 shops along the "main road" and her uncle is an accountant for the Egyptian Bible Society begun by InterVarsity's own Ramez Attallah (interim president of the IFES). Mr. Mahrous is also a leader in the church and neigborhood, doing much to organize the community and bring in the needed help for Mokattam. He is also in charge of the new 6-story building for ministry to the handicapped, for which Urbana 2006 provided the foundational gift. Anyhow, Christina became our translator and friend. Here she is with us at the Pyramids and later inside the ichthys that frames the entrance to the monastery parking lot.





Overall, I learned quite a few valuable things during this trip: 1.) I can handle the travel and plane trip, 2.) I can handle the climate, food, and smells without increased migraines or illnesses (these first two are huge!), 3.) I can feel quite at home and happy in a completely foreign culture, and 4.) My faith in the institution of the Church has been significantly impacted through the witness of the these impoverished brothers and sisters. I'm not really sure I ever had much faith in the Church -- I've never truly understood my partcipation, except in terms of my service to "it". I have seen too much infighting, political/power struggles and ugliness to know otherwise.

However, in Mokattam, I have seen how God can literally use 1 person (Rebekah Attalah) to organically move the Church to greater service that impacts a million lives. Through her desire to serve the poor, people came to faith, those people then created NGOs, these NGOs worked beyond denominational (and hostile) lines, these churches came together to provide resources of money, people, and supplies and in the span of 30 years a village that was once illegal and constructed out of tin and cardboard is now a city with a garden, running water (safe to drink for Egyptians), electricity, paved roads, brick housing, sewage systems, groceries and supply stores, access to health care, and increased means of income and education. Even thinking about it now brings me to tears. These people are still poor by any standards, but their ability to live a healthy and long life of service to God has increased dramatically. They also have access to basic luxuries, like television and street lights. And all of this work did not originate in North America per se, but through the leadership of the community. They didn't look to the rich to "save them" from their plight, but they took responsibility for their own and in partnership with people who knew how to work the power systems and had access to money have led and organized their own. It is a beautiful thing to see and gives me much hope for the future.

I don't know what God might have in store for me in the future in terms of Cairo or the Middle East. (I am trying to get back there for the bulk of next summer.) But, the people and the Church have made its impact on my life and heart in a way that extends far beyond the 10 days I was there.

If you would like to hear more (there is much not told here), just drop me an email at chloe.papke@gmail.com. This is my final blog on this account, however. I hope you've enjoyed reading.



Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Final Countdown

There are only 80 minutes (give or take a few) left of my sabbatical. I had hoped that at this point I could communicate some profound spiritual experience that has radically altered my outlook on life, but...alas...this is not the case.

On the other hand, I have a certain 6th sense about me lately that has been a continuous gratitude for the opportunities provided by a sabbatical period. Life managed to crowd in on my "break" time that I had hoped to spend blissfully sipping martinis on the beach. But, without this sabbatical, I would not have had the means or time or strength of mind to handle the things that came my way.

I have ruled out many possible causes for the numbness and pain in my right forearm (yes, you read that right). I also found a new spiritual director who has asked some good but difficult questions and has given encouragement to me when I go out on a limb. I have been able to spend 100's of hours considering the nature, character, and actions of God and how He interacts with the world and His people. And I have been served by the poor in many ways -- not the least of which was the cane juice from a street vendor while watching a soccer game at a new friend's home in the garbage village of Mokattam.

I have had much time to learn to accept the "portion alloted to me" in life, such as the possibility of never playing the piano for longer than 10 minutes at a time -- I am most decidedly not yet in a place of acceptance of many things, but I'm in a much better place than I was only 6 months ago. Through my grief, I have recognized that what has been taken away (friends, physical abilities, health) was at one time an amazing gift.

I don't want to take those things for granted.

I am however, moving back into "normal" ministry with a fair amount of fear, which has been difficult to admit. Mostly, I am afraid because I know who I am -- and if I am this broken and sinful when I am rested and have the space for God -- what will happen when I am once again busy with the activities of ministry? Even when I had the space, I wasn't very diligent in using that time well with the Lord.

Overall, I have an amazing life. But it can churn at a speed faster than light. The time for reflection and expressions of deep gratitude must be stuck in-between these great moments. A Christian kind of multi-tasking. I may need to express my joy over new believers while packing for my next travel assignment. I don't want to live this way. I love what I do. And I am longing for this 6th sense of wonder and a heightened sense of gratefulness to grow. For those of you who know me at all, let alone those of you who know me well, you will know that dark humor and pessimism seem to rule the day -- gratefulness is a gift to me, not just from me.

As I return to work, please pray this for me. And also that I might make the space for God in order to be properly reflective on the many many gifts He has given me. Thank You.

Soon, I will post an update on my trip to Cairo and to let you know what is ahead for me in the coming year. After that, I may switch to a website or new blog or...none at all. The time spent on blogging may be required for reflection...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Idlewild with the Wild Childs

OK -- well, they weren't that wild. But they did have fun at Idlewild, which is apparently been named the 2nd best amusement park for kids in the world. :)

The girls loved the ball pit, which is where we started and then we worked our way up to the scarier rides (which scared auntie Chloe more than any of the kids!) and then on to the water park.

There were a lot of "that was awesome!" and "let's do that again!" heard from the kids.







Here is Maya attempting to catch a ball suspended in mid-air on a column of air.










Well, poor Will. It will be more fun next time, buddy.







Here is auntie Chloe on the "log jammer". This thing used to scare me half to death when I was a kid. No wonder Maya tried to leap out of her seat and onto my lap as we were going down the hill!!






Here are the Boyers and VanHaitsmas -- amusement park buddies.






NEXT UP: Why did Chloe spring clean her apartment only to go live in a garbage dump?

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Back to Work...ha ha ha

So, I hesitate to even share these pictures, lest you all think that I don't actually work for a living. Let's just say that this place is just one of the few perks of fulltime campus ministry. :)

This is the sight that welcomes one to the Avalon port on Catalina Island off the coast of California. During our hour+ high speed ferry across the Pacific on the Catalina Express, we were joined by a school of dolphins and greeted by some playful seals as well. While I waited for my ride to Campus by the Sea, I was able to watch the large bright orange Garabaldi fish play in the algae by the shore.

One can only arrive at InterVarsity's Campus by the Sea by boat, there are no roads that lead to our little hideaway. If so motivated, one can hike the 5 miles into Avalon. I love Cedar Campus where I spend much of my year, but it was a unique experience to be entertained by the seals on my journey. They put on quite the show and then stayed to play in the swimming area. This picture is of the CBS beach taken from one of the mountain hikes.




OK, OK -- I SWEAR that I was working. I went to CBS in order to interview some members of the Southern California staff team on "what makes MultiEthnic teams successful?" I had some great conversations with folks and loved meeting more members of the family that I hadn't met before.



And, lastly, here is where I spent many interview hours. I honestly didn't have a lot of free time and I only got to sea kayak for about 15 minutes one day. But I did enjoy sitting on the deck chairs and soaking in the sun.

It was a wonderful work trip and a great 6 days of vacation.

NEXT UP: Idlewild with the Wild Childs. :)

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Vacation, Days 5 & 6

So, I know that I suffer for the Lord at times... :) but now is NOT one of those times! Here is my friend's apartment complex where I am staying. I have spent many hours in the pool and hot tub.





So, yesterday I went on a long bike ride (~80 miles?) down to the ocean on the Rio Hondo/Angeles Bikeway. I had two great disappointments: #1. Long Beach is NOT a beach, apparently. It is a harbor. #2. The Mighty Rio Hondo...is on the left here. It is about one inch deep. ha ha ha. I highly recommend this bikeway if one doesn't mind the urban-esque sites (graffiti, shanty villages, homeless, and factories) Which reminds me, I saw a homeless woman who has the same backpack as me...is it time for me to update? It is only a 16-year old backpack...

But, it is deep enough to support a lot of wildlife. I saw loads of ducks, seagulls, sandpipers, pelican(y) birds (I must find out what those were), and here is one of many cranes that I saw.



Eventually, as one approaches the ocean, an actual river appears. It smelled salty, so I am guessing this is largely saltwater "backwash" -- is that possible?





I also saw my first hummingbird in the "wild". At first I thought it was a flying cockroach, but it wasn't! These are not the ones I saw, but I thought this building was funky.





I also saw loads of riders, including this cowboy. :)







So, this is what greeted me on the end of my long journey...a very nice harbor...just no beach. sigh.






After I got home, Migum, Blas, and I had some Thai food and then went to Coldstone Creamery. Here is a picture of him calling the bus: "Come here bus, Come here!" He is very cute and sweet and 2.

Today we went to The Grove for breakfast with our friend Eun-hyey, rode the bus with Blas, did a little shopping...and then on our way to the beach, we locked our keys in the trunk of her car...sigh. So, we spent the rest of the day meeting a variety of servicemen who eventually helped us to get home and get into the car. But, no beach. :(

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Vacation, Day 4

When I woke up today, I thought it was Friday. I have a whole route picked out in order to bike from here to Long Beach (~30 miles one way?) and maybe to get over to the Seal Nature Reserve down there as well.

BUT, it is only Thursday, and so instead, I am just going to be lazy and wander around to a variety of shops and coffee shops and...Trader Joes...and go to the pool...and maybe, just maybe, I'll get in a good run.

Migum, Blas, and I all went to the Wheatberry Bakery this morning for breakfast -- good stuff. I bought my favorite: almond croissant, as an incentive for biking hard...now I'm not sure what to do with it! :)

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Vacation, Day 3

After picking up my Fondriest bike at Velo Pasadena, I then headed out to discover all there is to know about Griffith Park, "nearby" Pasadena. Little did I know that it is the home of the L.A. Zoo, the Observatory, AND the Hollywood sign. Here are some of the sites as I pedaled around Los Angeles County today:

This is part of the San Gabriel Mountain Range that hems in Pasadena. I was going to pedal into the Angeles National Forest until I realized I rented a bike with only a double chain ring. I don't think I would have gotten very far up those hills!





These are some random Palm trees near Occidental College, I just think they are cool looking...very spindly.









This is a random house in Glendale. I was biking along when all of a sudden I heard a huge racket. Turns out alllllll the pigeons in the county like to hang out on this persons' poor roof. I could not figure out one reason why they chose this roof and not the ones next door.



I eventually breached the wall of freeways separating me and Griffith Park. Unfortunately, I did not know that there had been a huge forest fire (94 acres) only a month ago. All the mountain tops were closed off in order to avoid citizens getting cancer from the chemicals that had been sprayed. While I appreciate that...I had really been looking forward to climbing up to "Dante's View" on Mt. Hollywood. Instead, I moseyed on over into Hollywood where I finally saw the icon with my own eyes.

Here is a picture of me with the Hollywood sign...well, its there behind my big head. :) All in all, it was a lovely ride which I finished off at Bees Knees Bakery with a lemon cheese pillow and a Diet Coke (hit the spot!) And then I proceeded "home" for a long bath, after which I realized that I had completely forgotten to pick up my car. Geesh. (blondes on vacation!)

Tomorrow's adventures will hopefully take me out to Long Beach.

Vacation, Days 1 & 2

Travel was fairly uneventful on Monday...other than the hour + delay and turbulence, and forgetting to pick up my luggage at the airport... :) (blondes!) I arrived at my friend Migum's apartment around 9pm (midnight) and we stayed up to chat and catch up. We figured out that it has been since '98 that we last saw each other face-to-face. Sad. Blas, her two-year-old is quite cute and helping me to not miss the VanHaitsma clan quite as desperately. He loves Cars, Elmo, Toy Story, blueberries, tickles, and his mommy.

The apartment is nice too. It comes with a swimming pool, hot tub (already visited that, you betcha!), meditative fountains, and a work-out facility. I think I landed in heaven. It is also only a brief walk over to Fuller Seminary and...even better...only a block from Target and a mile from Trader Joe's!

So, on Tuesday I woke up and...went shopping, of course. What else does one do in L.A.? Then, after pillaging Trader Joe's and after recovering from migraine #1, I got in my very first heart monitor training run. Step #2 towards 1/2 marathon training (Step #1 was running the Mother's Day 5K) So, I had a good 5+ mile run in a neighborhood where I heard not a single word in English, and then headed home to cook up some salmon steaks, tomato salad, and wine for dinner. Mmmm.

What has struck me most since arriving has not been the people (which is usually #1), but how every tree here seems to flower! Here are a few examples. If you know what they are...please chime in! (okay the baby palm trees don't flower...they are just cute.)

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Breathing a Sigh of Relief...

I have really enjoyed studying Church history, the theology of the Trinity and theodicies, and the book of Amos. But, as I remember the activity of the past ten weeks I just feel tired. Of course, one of those weeks I was in MN for my dad's surgery and two weeks ago I was in bed with migraines and this week I had two finals and two term papers to begin and finish...So, all in all...finishing 3 grad school classes was quite a feat.

I was so giddy after I finished my last paper (which, btw, does identify black licorice as a product of the Fall -- just thought I would warn y'all) that one would think I completed my Master's. :) I love classes and I love learning and I love my professors. But, I am hoping my feat accomplishing days of sabbatical are over.

I am again pining for those first days of sabbatical where I lay in bed and read spiritual books. But now, I'd rather bike 50 miles in the beautiful weather and then read a book before the return trip. Which, is exactly what I will be doing next week while on vacation in Southern CA. I am thrilled to be visiting a bunch of Obie dobies before heading to Catalina for three days of "work" at InterVarsity's Campus By the Sea. (Of course, I may get put to much more real work than intended since much of the island burned down a few weeks ago. Bless God that our camp was largely untouched.)

I intend to bike every day, play with my friend Migum's baby, read books at the Fuller bookstore, and sip fruit smoothies by the ocean. Nice. I'll try not to get spoiled before I have to learn to endure life in a garbage dump in July. :)

Let's see, in the spirit of catching up, I also had my MRI done today -- the results of which I may not know for a while. I took some muscle relaxants in order to avoid a claustrophobia induced panic attack -- and it worked. I pretty much slept through the 80-minute ordeal, but something about the way they had me strapped in...I kept waking myself up from the echoes of my own snoring. ha ha ha. I don't snore. But I guess I do in MRI chambers....

I'll write more soon. Maybe my spiritual director tomorrow can help me sort out my thoughts on my academic life...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Time to Vote...on Chloe's hair...

OK -- So, I have been saying for years that I want to dye my hair blue. By "blue" I mean midnight blue. Perhaps not my whole head...but some part of it. My fear is that I will look like a Muppet...no disrespect to Jim Henson intended...or that I will need to shave my head to stop looking ridiculous. So, I've decided that if 10 or more people vote for me to change my hair by May 30th...I will.

So, place your ballots via "comments": (choose all that apply)

A. Chloe, do not change your hair -- it is gorgeous the way it is.
B. Chloe, please dye your hair blue:
b1: In a "peek-a-boo" style (the underside of my hair -- top layer still will be blonde)
b2: In highlights.
b3: Other ____________________
C. I have a much better idea and it is _________________________.
D. I would love to dye your hair for you and take the blame for messing up your social and professional life upon myself.

:)

I hope you were all able to make it out to the primaries this week. If not, here is your second chance to participate in good ol' American Democracy. :)

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Time Flies, the 9 week countdown

Sigh. Time flies when one is having fun. And, despite emotional, medical, and familial difficulties -- it has been a real gift to have this time. When else would I be able to scrapbook my whole life, or watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville, Lois & Clark, AND Bones TV on DVD? When else will I get a chance to read so much theology AND novels? Or go to the Symphony? Or to clean my closets? Or to take 3 naps in one day? Or to travel to Alberta, TX, CA, MN and Egypt in a six month time span? Every moment has been a grace from God.

Starting tomorrow, not only do I reach an emotional milestone (first hand therapy appointment) but I also reach the 2/3 marker for sabbatical.

To celebrate, I ran the Race for the Cure with my housemate, Yvonne and our friend Cynthia. Our time was outstanding (so outstanding that I shouldn't brag) ha ha ha. We have been saying that we ran a 5K in less than our age per minute. You do the math.

Then we enjoyed an amazing breakfast at one of my favorite coffee shops in Pittsburgh, the Coca Cafe. Savory, sweet, funky, and artistic. can't be beat. Definitely add it to your "must check out" list if you haven't been. Breakfast is delish.

Also, don't forget that National "auntie" day is this Wednesday. Marie decided this today. And, as far as I'm concerned, since there is a National "Clean Up Your Room" Day (or as we say in Pittsburgh "Redd up"), Marie should hold the power to declare a national holiday on my behalf.

I will be celebrating by tickling the girls and blowing bubbles in the back yard. :)

Friday, May 4, 2007

Tastebud Delights

While my friend Theresa was here, I got to try out a couple of new recipes. I share one here from The Joy of Cooking -- very tasty if I do say so myself!

Couscous with Chickpeas (4 servings)
Heat in a large skillet over medium heat:
3 tablespoons olive oil
Add:
1 cup sliced blanched almonds
Cook, stirring, just until lightly golden, 2-3 minutes.
Add:
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
Cook, stirring for about 1 minute. Stir in:
1 tsp. sweet or hot paprika
1 tsp. ground coriander
1 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 to 1 tsp. hot red pepper sauce (don't worry, it doesn't get very spicy)
Cook until heated through, about 1 minute more. Stir in:
2 1/2 c. chicken or vegetable stock or water
2 c. cooked chickpeas (about 2/3 c. dried), rinsed and drained if canned
1 c. chopped raisins or dried currants (I put the raisins in whole...they were fine)
Bring to a boil and stir in:
1 1/4 c. quick-cooking couscous
Cover, remove from the heat, and let stand for 5 minutes. Fluff the couscous with a fork.

What I loved about this is that it is a great healthy side dish, but from prep to table it only took about 15 minutes! Enjoy!

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Have you heard the good news?

Yes, my friends, it is true. Two of my heroes are combining forces in order to make the world a better place through art...

Spiderman and...Bono.

Yes, they will be putting their heads together with The Edge's to create the Broadway musical Spiderman.

If you would like to donate to the "Send Chloe to Broadway" fund, please send your checks made out to "Chloe Loves Bono and Spidey Foundation"

Also, earlier this week I was describing my tech support nightmares to my friend Theresa who turned me on to this youtube video. Quite hysterical. Check it out.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

A Super Party and Super Moments

OK -- my last blog entry was a bit of a downer -- its been a rough couple of weeks. But, the last two weekends have been filled with fun. 2 weekends ago, I babysit Will overnight. Of course he was a little angel for his "auntie Chloe". Personally, I think he has a little crush on me. :) When he agreed to stay with me, I don't think he knew I would be dressing him as well. Poor thing. But, isn't he cute??




Monday was Maya's 4th birthday -- she is getting so big! The thing I am most proud of is that due, in part, to my influence Maya loves superheroes. Especially Superman. (And "Wois Wane") She always wants to come in my apartment and read the "Superman book". I think she likes it mostly because it makes noises (and drives me crazy), but it was sufficient enough to warrant a superhero themed party. The adults were just glad it wasn't a Barbie or Princess party...again. The sad thing is that...I was able to finally use up the leftover party supplies from my 33rd birthday party....something seems a little odd about that!

And, last but not least, here is a closeup of the cake that Doug and Yvonne (mostly Yvonne) made together for the party. I think they did a great job.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

What to do with a Sabbatical that is not all Roses and Butterflies

I am learning a sad lesson over the past few months, and that is just because one ceases from the daily stress of work, life and its stresses still continues.

I'm not sure what I expected exactly...my apartment to magically become self-cleaning? People to finally comprehend that I really am the center of the world? Or that all of a sudden the world would become a happy and healthy place to be (all of the time, for everyone)?

Of the friends I spend the most time with, one is moving to another continent, one is injured, one is dying, and the other has gone AWOL.

I have had...let's count them...not one, not two, but four major computer malfunctions in the past two weeks -- costing me one week of internet access, 2 1/2 work day equivalents on the phone with tech support, and several hundreds of dollars in part replacement fees. Even as I write, I cannot add a picture because for...God only knows what reason...my picture editor (which cost ~$100) has suddenly ceased to work. Overall -- it is not as dire as an apocalypse...but it does get draining.

My father is ill, it rains on every "biking day", the piles of paper continue to rise on my desk, a relationship is strained and irresolvable, baby Will has acid reflux and makes the whole house sad with his pain-filled cries, my medical bills do not seem to be resolving themselves, and my arm is no better off -- if not worse than before, and I found out that my first overseas trip will be over three continents and two oceans over a duration of 48-hours...alone.

I just saw "Pursuit of Happyness" on DVD...and I can't shake the stirred up/stressed out feeling in the pit of my stomach. It hasn't been that long since I had to work 2 1/2 fulltime jobs just to pay the rent. I remember one year only earning $9K because I was volunteering so much and getting paid so poorly. Certainly I have never been close to being homeless with a child to support -- but I know what it is like to work 24/7, be smart, and skilled, and to still not be able to make things "work".

Tomorrow at church I will be leading worship -- and I'll be singing Ps. 13 which is a Psalm of lament -- "how long, O Lord, will you forget me?" Or, as I would probably put it in my inner prayer life -- "God, when are you going to just cut me a break?" But the psalmist goes on to declare that he trusts his father -- "still I trust in Your unfailing love". I don't always make it to that place, but how could I not?

An elder called me a week ago just to see how I was doing (not to ask anything of me), a friend bought me flowers because she knew I've been catching a few tough breaks, my exams went really well, baby Will thinks his "auntie" is hysterical and always smiles and giggles at me (when he is not gassy/acidy!!), I have money in the bank and all my bills are paid, my god-daughter just turned four and had a Superman birthday party (just like her "auntie"), I have a great apartment and living situation, I have lots of friends and a family that loves me, spring is finally here, and I am on sabbatical!

How could I not trust in a God who has, despite life's difficulties, given me these great gifts and has always provided and always taken care of me? I am quite rich. And, so despite how much grieving there is still to do -- I'll just take a look at the roses on my dresser and trust that the butterflies are just outside my window.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Senseless Violence

The shootings at Virginia Tech -- or anywhere for that matter -- are senseless. Like a 9/11 it is the kind of event that can turn a nation's worldview on its head, its sense of ethics, and culture.

For these moments there are simply no words to speak. One can only grieve and cry out to God.

I am including here a note from the InterVarsity staff at Virginia Tech who could use your prayers today and in the coming weeks. Also, here is an article that may give some clues as to other prayers that may be needed, especially for our Asian and Asian-American brothers and sisters at Virginia Tech and all schools.

---------

So many have asked how they can pray for us, and I am encouraged by the support of friends from around the country and the world.

Here are some specific requests from our fellowship:

One freshman still has a roommate that is missing. We are hoping that she may have been only wounded, but we have yet to hear from her.

Thankfully, two of our students overslept and missed their classes in Norris Hall during the shootings. However, one of those students lost his professor, and four of his classmates were wounded.

One senior in our fellowship was actually in a classroom in Norris Hall during the shootings. With the help of some classmates, he set up a barricade to prevent the shooter from entering the room. The shooter fired shots at the door, but failed to enter.

One junior needs the most intercession. She is a resident advisor in West Ambler Johnston Hall and was a good friend to one of the victims who was murdered in this residence hall. The victim was a fellow resident advisor.

After an intense and painful day, we are in mourning.

Fortunately, there were no students in our fellowship who were wounded or murdered. However, a number of students have friends, hallmates, and professors who lost their lives.

On campus, I am deeply encouraged by the love and comfort that our students give to each other and their friends. The Body of Christ is truly at work here.

Though it feels like a dark cloud is over Blacksburg, God is present. In this time of mourning, Christ is with us in our pain. In Christ Jesus we find our hope and refuge!

Thank you for your prayers and for sharing in our pain.

Wes Barts

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Back in the Saddle Again...

Its been a while since I've written anything. Sorry to those of you who actually read this! I'm mostly writing a blog to keep friends and prayer people updated, but also to reflect on my sabbatical experiences.

Things have been difficult these past few weeks, and that's usually when I shy away from being reflective. There are just some things I don't want to remember. But, sadly, that is when I most need to be in conversation with God. So, I have been keeping God in the periphery...but I think I am finally ready to stop crowding him out. Pray for me!

Other than these more internal and private thoughts, I have much to share, but I will make it brief, I promise!

My father is healing well. His blood pressure continues to be too low, at one point it was down to 60/40 and he shouldn't have been conscious, but he was. But there have been other positive healing signs such as being able to get out of bed, shower, and get in and out of chairs alone. Praise God.

While with my dad, I missed the first week of my seminary classes and so I have had much too much reading to do, 120+ pages/day. I am finally caught up...but next week is midterms! Ack. But I am loving my Old Testament class on the Prophets and the Psalms. In particular I was struck this morning as my professor spoke from Habakkuk and how what it means to be the people of "Israel" is to "wrestle" with God when questions, fears, doubts arise. Habakkuk lived during a time where the Israelites very notion of God was rocked to its foundation and they were left floundering. But he wrestled and came out trusting in a clearer vision of God than ever before.

I'm also taking Systematic Theology. I was very challenged to recently write a paper regarding my own theological method -- I wasn't aware that I had one until I wrote a paper about it! And, lastly I am taking a Church History class...which at first I thought I would not like since I have little interest in American history or philosophy. But, as it turns out it is quite fascinating and I understand more and more the debates that continue to happen on a national level about the meaning of freedom, the foundations of the country, and church and state. Now...if I can just remember all that stuff until next week. :)

Thanks for all your prayers and help over the past few weeks. I'm also happy to report that our staff team participated in an evangelistic outreach at Clarion University where over 70 students responded over the week to the gospel! God be praised. And very beautifully, the conversations had were across academic disciplines, religions, and race.

We have also hired a new staff onto our team: Amy Costello from MI. More about her later.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

My Dad, take 2

(Christmas at the Ordway in Minneapolis with my family
left to right: dad, mom, Chad (brother), Jodi, Ashley, Adam, me -- back row;
Adam, Alexis -- front row)

For those of you checking this blog somewhat regularly, or who know me and my family personally, let me give you the mass update.

I head home tomorrow (Monday) to be with my dad during his second heart bypass surgery in three months. In the meantime, he has also had an additional surgery on his leg. The first bypass didn't "take" and so they need to go in again. He really needs this surgery that is scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers as well as our whole family as we are together this week.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

New Favorite Hymn

I had a wonderful time at a retreat center that my spiritual director introduced me to. It is called Spring Meadows and is in Harmony, PA, just north of Pittsburgh. There are two bedrooms in a long house with wall-sized windows facing the woods. At the bottom of the woods is a decent sized pond and row boat, paths to walk, and a brook running through the property. In addition to the delicious homemade food made by Rosa Lee and eaten family-style with her husband Grant, she also does spiritual direction. A one-stop, retreat/B&B/spiritual/nature center. A wonderful time with God and spiritual friends. I discovered some hymn words that have come to mean a lot recently. It is sung to the tune of Findlandia, which is the "We rest on Thee" or "Cedar Grace" tune. I share it here for you:

Be Still, My Soul
(to the tune of Finlandia)

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Thro thorny ways leads to a joyful end.


Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be for ever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Amen.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

When does the "New" Begin?

Can it be only three days back in town and I am already bored? I'm not really bored -- life is far too confusing for that to ever happen, but I am tired of the projects which I find myself doing.

I've been scrapbooking some old memories...boxes of them. At times this has been hilarious, and I only have 1989-91 left to go...but now I am finding it tedious.

I just finished reading all the old magazines laying around my house while I was on the plane from Austin. I cleaned out my craft closet and finished up a bunch of 1/2 done projects. And, I finished a bunch of books that were on my shelf. I'm happy these things are done and not taking up space, but my life is not significantly improved or changed by these accomplishments. One thing I've learned by going through these memories, is that I feel like I am scrapbooking someone else's accomplishments. I am simply not this person anymore.

I've been thinking about sabbatical as getting "caught up" and being "refreshed". I'm just wondering how long getting mythically "caught up" will take? I would have thought 2 months would do it...

So, that's it. After this weekend...no more "catching up". Staring next week, I am going to throw away the old things that are not finished, so that I can turn my focus to new things -- like school, using my new heart rate monitor, learning Arabic, reading new books, taking a modern dance class, and learning how to paint. Just typing those things brings a smile to my face.

I have discovered a lot of things about myself through learning new things and taking them into my life -- like ministry, biking, skiing, and water coloring. Maybe in another 20 years my life now will be unrecognizable because I will continually be learning new things and discovering more of who I am.

So, Onward and Upward!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Biking in Austin


I don't see these guys every day on bike rides around Pittsburgh! This was a little one that I almost sat on when I took a...break. :)

Yesterday I took a long bike ride around Austin. I was able to rent a ridiculously nice bike, a LeMond Buenos Aires with a carbon fiber frame. The wind was equally ridiculous and so I nearly was blown off the road a couple of times. A girl at the bike shop said that a race began along the river with 70 Category 1 & 2 riders...but only finished with 20...at full steam they were able to pedal only 9 miles an hour, so I guess they just gave up. I really enjoyed riding around the near west side on Red Bud Rd. where there are lots of little hills (like Pittsburgh) and some great modern architecture. When coming down off of the hill, Red Bud deposits you downtown along the river, and best of all -- at Whole Foods.

Apparently the Whole Foods here is the original deal. It even has an escalator! And, unlike Pennsylvania, one can buy beer and wine in the store and drink it with the hundreds of deli options.

Today I needed a short recovery ride and so I spent some time at the Veloway. I loved the lack of traffic and being able to challenge myself to faster times, quicker gear changes and flying by the very fit biker guys. :) I also loved thinking about friends from Team Caffeine who were biking in 34 degree weather. So sad. It feels good to have a little bit of a sunburn.

So, all in all this trip to Austin for work and biking was very nice. Tomorrow I'll try to get in a short jog before heading back to the airport. Hopefully this time I'll get back to Pittsburgh in 3 flights or less! I'll have to remember to keep my coat unpacked. :(

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Something New



I guess old folks can learn new things too. I am currently in Austin doing some social research on MultiEthnic teams in InterVarsity as a part of my sabbatical project on internship development. I am loving being in the city and the 80+ degree weather.

I am also having a lot of fun with this staff team. There is a 18 year age span, 30+ years of staff experience, mixed gender, five ethnicities, and many personalities on this staff team. They have been very gracious to open their office, team, and lives to me as I've quizzed them about their joys and trials of being on staff with IV.

Last night I went to a one-of-a-kind South Asian student fellowship called "One-Way" where I learned more than I knew I needed to learn about South Asian culture. I also have an idea now of how much I have yet to learn!

Silly me. I had begun to think that I had seen it all. Not so...and, I love it.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Where to Find Pictures

I have finally figured out how to make a live link...(welcome to the 21st century, Chloe!)

Here are some of my more recent and fun pictures, if you dare. Enjoy.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Turkey-Swiss Stromboli

I haven't done as much baking as I would like to recently, but I love to try out new recipes and discover new things to enjoy. But, so far I've just been trying to "cook the cupboards" which has resulted in some creative muffins... Its amazing how much unnecessary food I have stored up in this place!

But, as I was reading through some old magazines (another little sabbatical "project") I came across this one. I think it has some potential. It took me approximately 5 minutes to put together.

(from Fitness magazine)
Turkey-Swiss Stromboli

1/2 lb. frozen pizza dough, thawed (I made wheat pizza dough in a breadmaker)
1 tbs. spicy brown mustard
4 oz. sliced reduced-fat Swiss cheese
6 large leaves Swiss chard, tough stalks removed
8 oz. sliced turkey breast
1 egg, beaten

Heat oven to 425F. Coat a nonstick baking sheet with butter-flavored cooking spray. Unroll dough and shape gently into a 6x12" rectangle on top of the prepared baking sheet. Spread mustard over entire surface, then layer with cheese, Swiss chard and turkey. Fold over length-wise and seal edges. Lightly brush dough with egg. Bake 18 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cool 5 minutes. Makes 5 servings. Enjoy!

per serving: 232 calories, 21 g. protein, 23 g carbs, 7 g fat, 1 g fiber.

Friday, February 16, 2007

I'm Not Crazy!

The past couple of weeks have been full of random activities such as writing a will, finishing my taxes, evaluating my diet, and visiting with doctors. I did spend the past week in bed, but that is not what has kept me busy at the doctor's offices.

I have been treated for five years now for severe migraines. I love my doctor, Dr. Soso. He just seems to "get" me. He understands the pressures of middle management, the world of professional musicians, and the hell that women living with chronic pain experience. The nurses must wonder what goes on during my appointments, because there is usually much laughter.

Of course, he is no stranger to pain himself, seeing that over the past 2 years he has had to have both of his hands reattached...don't ask.

As a musician, I have a certain fear of hands and pain. A paper cut makes me cringe, a broken finger makes me gag, and hand torture scenes...I nearly faint dead away.

So, as you can imagine, the fact that I haven't been able to play the piano professionally in at least four years (because I can't feel my arm)...has been a major source of disappointment, fear, and pain.

While the rest of the world sat snug in bed during a snow day this week, I braved the weather to make it to Dr. Soso's office. And, since he had no patients and nothing better to do, we visited for close to 2 hours. During this time, he discovered that I can't feel my arm -- and then...the experiments began! After many needle pokes, we mapped out the area and discovered that I can't feel my right cutaneous lateral nerves...? Who knows what that is. The point is -- I am not crazy!

And so, the hunt begins again to discover the source of my mysterious and elusive ailment. The neurologist I met with today set up an EMG (a.k.a. extended torture session) which will hopefully give some clues as to whether I will be able to use my hand again or not. I'm hoping so. It would be nice to hear some Liszt again in my house...

Friday, February 2, 2007

Day 26, Vacations are Wonderful

I love vacations. They are a relatively new phenomenon to me.

Others seemed to take to them naturally, often taking those cool spring break trips, but I was always working. In fact, there hasn't been a time since I was of legal working age (13) that I wasn't working nearly fulltime +. So, not to bemoan my poor state, but just to say that I never really caught on to how to "vacate".

I've had some friends over the years show me the ropes. In fact, Mike, Shayna, Toby and I just had our 3rd winter vacation together. On our first trip we went to the Poconos where I almost met my death at the hands of two pieces of plastic attached to my feet. Ever since my Wisconsin roots kicked in and saved the day, I have had a love affair with downhill skiing.

There are very few moments in life that could say that I have felt pure joy. Skiing in beautiful places has been just one of those. This year we went to Jasper in the Canadian Rockies. Since I haven't been on skis in a year (it has been too warm here in PA), I decided to take a class. I was glad I did because I was finally able to ski "black" runs. Not well, and not without fear...but I could ski them! This made me able to start at the top of the mountain and mosey my way down any run my fancy drew me to. I can't wait to go back.

Our vacation had many other highlights including two adorable baby boys, game playing with friends, drinking Starbucks in book stores, arguing, watching Heroes, eating lots of yummy snacks, discussing, laughing, and a hike in the beautiful and frozen Moligne Canyon.

Now...to start plotting my next getaway! :)

Monday, January 22, 2007

Cutie Petutie


Just in case I don't have time to send many updates while I am in Canada -- Here is the latest picture of the cuteness that is William Michael. Check out my Picasa site for more pictures.

Day 15, Space for God?

Tomorrow I leave for my annual trek to the Bowlings' in Edmonton, Canada for skiing, playing with 18-mo. old boys, game playing, relaxing with friends, and general frolicking in the snow. I can't wait! (It'll be my first vacation on which I am not simply trying to catch up on sleep.)

This week I have been mostly cleaning out the cobwebs in my house and closets, getting some craft projects done (be forewarned...your Christmas gift is under construction...) Renovating an old white elephant gift, making magnetic paper dolls for Marie and Maya (shh, don't tell them), making cork boards from actual corks, and painting a spring decoration. These were the easy ones...the rest are a bit more complicated...which is probably why they have been sitting in my closet!

My other project was to make "space for God". My little corner for prayer is less cluttered and I bought a new small table for my coffee cup (gotta keep first things first!). As I was working on this space, I was reading in a book that "we...create a space to be aware of our relationship with God, so that we can be reminded that God makes a space for us and that we live continuously in God's gracious presence."

I am profoundly moved that God has made space for me. I wonder if He has a little "Chloe" corner at His place where He goes to commune with me...I wonder how that would be decorated? rubber ducks, probably. Maybe a hot pink racing bike? black and whites of Bono, perhaps. :) ha ha. A bit silly, but only a bit.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Day 8, Every Day is Saturday

I woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday. The day for sleeping in, baby snuggling, pancakes, and random home projects. I'm sure the grey and rainy weather had something to do with staying tucked into my warm blankets for long past the alarm clock as well. It took me a while to remember that it is Monday.

But I've realized that on sabbatical...every day is Saturday. Of course, I got a bit caught up in tying loose ends for work and volunteering for church this week...and soon I should consider doing some research and writing. But, for the time being I can relax and enjoy a day without a schedule or to do list.

One of my goals is to not have to do lists. I can't escape that entirely, since lists are like my "pensieve" (like in Harry Potter how Professor Dumbledore takes thoughts out of his mind so that he can mull them over more objectively and doesn't have to hold all his thoughts in his brain?).

That's what my journal is for as well. The more I sleep and relax, the more I realize how tired I am on the inside and how difficult it is for me to relax. Hopefully by the end of this I will be known as "relaxy" Chloe. (sorry, watching tooooo much Buffy the Vampire Slayer!)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Day 4: Quotables

Funny how some images keep popping up in a variety of places. The idea of "death and blossoming" and "home" continue to pop up. Here are a couple of fortuitous quotes:

"Take the very hardest thing in your life--
the place of difficulty,
outward or inward,
and expect God to triumph
gloriously in that very spot.
Just there He can bring your
soul into blossom."
-- Lillias Trotter (sent by a friend)

"The world doesn't need more busy people, maybe not even more intelligent people. It needs "deep people" people who know that they need solitude if they are going to find out who they are...The world needs people who will allow time for God to recreate them, play with them, touch them as an Artist who is making something beautiful with their lives."
-- Don Postema, Space for God

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Day 3, The Rubber Meets the Road


If you can't tell from the picture, I have an unpredictable "green" (?) thumb. On the left is my "no kill" ivy that had a nearly instantaneous death upon my return from Urbana 2006, and on the right is a plant that nearly died before Christmas and is now blooming for the first time in years. Sigh.

I met with my spiritual director yesterday, and I'm realizing that this picture is a metaphor for my spiritual life. There are things in my life that I have expected to flourish...and don't, and other things that spring up from nearly dead places inside of me.

I'm becoming more aware of the areas of my life that I need to die to, and some that need to come to life. Praying about these things is not something I am looking forward to, in particular. I think that is because I so often focus on the death part. I know what pain and death feel like. But it takes trust in a good God to believe that something might blossom out of my life. This trust has not been a constant in my life.

I'm not sure yet that I want to say "yes" to this internal adventure, but I'm glad I've got some time to get used to the idea, and friends to pray me through.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Day 2, Not Much Sabbathing Happening Yet!

Who could get much rest or concentrated prayer done when there is this cuteness to contend with? This is William Michael, adopted baby #3 for the VanHaitsma clan. He came home yesterday after a long day of waiting for the "word" from the birth-mother.

At the hospital, Marie rushed in to tell me that in the baby's room there was a "lot of crying going on!". Birth-mom was crying, mom was crying, caseworkers crying...but God was overseeing that sorrow and joy.

As we were leaving the hospital, mom learned the difference between changing the girls' diapers and William's...the glasses were sprayed, the caseworker, the waiting room couch, floor, passers-by...ha ha ha.

Little Squirt, way to make your presence known!

Monday, January 8, 2007

Day 1, The Sabbatical Begins


I have a dusty prayer corner in my bedroom filled with things that help me to focus on God...when used, of course. A picture of the Mother Mary, candles, a bible, books on prayer, and works of art that are meaningful to me. Its a little space carved out just for me and God.

Space. This the word that keeps coming to me as I enter into my sabbatical. I need some space. From work that I love and habits that have formed, both good and bad. Space for thinking, sleeping, praying...space for God to come.

Ironic then, how the first book I pull off of my shelf today is called Space for God. I think I'll take some time now (since I've finally figured out how to post a blog!) to dust off my prayer corner, and give God some space in my heart and head.