I'm Not Crazy!

The past couple of weeks have been full of random activities such as writing a will, finishing my taxes, evaluating my diet, and visiting with doctors. I did spend the past week in bed, but that is not what has kept me busy at the doctor's offices.

I have been treated for five years now for severe migraines. I love my doctor, Dr. Soso. He just seems to "get" me. He understands the pressures of middle management, the world of professional musicians, and the hell that women living with chronic pain experience. The nurses must wonder what goes on during my appointments, because there is usually much laughter.

Of course, he is no stranger to pain himself, seeing that over the past 2 years he has had to have both of his hands reattached...don't ask.

As a musician, I have a certain fear of hands and pain. A paper cut makes me cringe, a broken finger makes me gag, and hand torture scenes...I nearly faint dead away.

So, as you can imagine, the fact that I haven't been able to play the piano professionally in at least four years (because I can't feel my arm)...has been a major source of disappointment, fear, and pain.

While the rest of the world sat snug in bed during a snow day this week, I braved the weather to make it to Dr. Soso's office. And, since he had no patients and nothing better to do, we visited for close to 2 hours. During this time, he discovered that I can't feel my arm -- and then...the experiments began! After many needle pokes, we mapped out the area and discovered that I can't feel my right cutaneous lateral nerves...? Who knows what that is. The point is -- I am not crazy!

And so, the hunt begins again to discover the source of my mysterious and elusive ailment. The neurologist I met with today set up an EMG (a.k.a. extended torture session) which will hopefully give some clues as to whether I will be able to use my hand again or not. I'm hoping so. It would be nice to hear some Liszt again in my house...